Tuesday, May 31, 2011

MAY (revisited)

in realizing it is, yes, the very last day of MAY,  i was reminded that last year on this day i wrote a little poem and shared it with you.  i thought it might be fun to re-share since so many of you are new, and….. well, it’s a good reminder and i seem to need a lot of those.  so here it is, followed by a few more highlights from the taos trip, which occurred during the month of MAY.


 i squeeze the handle of the sifter one more time
and the flour that was the month of may
drifts down into the bowl of my life
leaving its faint cloud of dust
lingering in the air.

as i wrap the memorial day flag
and stash it in its hiding place
until its next appointed showing
a thought tiptoes across my mind
a thought that asks
if i lived as fully as i could have
or if i settled for grape juice
when i could have had wine

the moment beckons me
to plunge beneath its depths
to move beyond a mere skimming of the surface
to sink….deeper…
into a reality where i have been a guest
but never a citizen
i release all that i know
simply let go
and for a brief instant
i feel the connection

Taos plaza

One of the neighboring villages

Taos Pueblo, still home to over 1200 Native Americans

Spring aspens

Looking down at my feet and the Rio Grande below

Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Angel Fire

Toast to good memories

Full moon rising

Sign to the meditation hut outside of the house we stayed in
 Thanks again for all of your kind words regarding my last post.  As I mentioned, I am working on a follow-up.  And thanks for visiting!!!

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Creative Direction (and other demons)

i have lots more taos stuff,  but in the meantime….. i 've  had some struggles lately and felt the need to share.  partly because writing helps to clarify things in my own little brain and partly because there is always a chance someone else will be able to relate to what i’m saying and we can swap viewpoints and strategies.  love that about blogging!

it seems most of my life i have dealt with various insecurities and the demons have been knocking on my door lately for a variety of reasons (wouldn't think you would reach an age when this no longer happens???)    the you’re not good enough demons.  the less than demons.  the what’s wrong with you anyway demons.  the who do you think you are demons.  the maybe you should just forget that idea demons.  and lately one of the loudest knockers:  the where’s it all going demons.

you see it’s been almost 2 years now since i retired from my teaching job.  don’t get me wrong.  i LOVE my life and am incredibly grateful for it every.  single.  day.   *seriously*.    it’s just that when i left my job i had high hopes of doing “something important”.  at the time, i was still printing and framing photos and selling them at artshows and galleries.  and presenting my multi-media shows in assisted living facilities.

 i’ve since decided that printing, framing and selling are really not my thing (except for the little stuff like cards, magnets and bookmarks). i loved doing the multi-media shows, but the marketing was completely daunting and eventually did me in.  

so those things have mostly fallen by the wayside in favor of new creative pursuits.  i love blogging.  and i totally love the new art forms i am dabbling in, working in my new studio and doing the retreats.  (i am a happy girl in spite of those demons!!)  

but when i look at the future, it’s hard to grasp it all going in a direction that is going to “make a difference”.  based on past experience, my future view feels somewhat limited.  and that can become scary if i let it.  i know, i know, it’s all about the journey…. and i do believe i am getting better at stopping those negative spirals.... but i can’t seem to reign my thoughts in and keep them from going in that direction from time to time…..sigh...

i know i’m presenting a mixed picture here, but that’s my life.  probably more days than not i feel excited and confident about what i am doing.  my “daily practices” are wonderful and i am adding more all the time! but i wouldn’t be completely honest without acknowledging these little midnight visitors and i’m guessing maybe some of you have been visited by them too.  or maybe not.  would love to hear your thoughts!

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Sweet Mountain Air

the sweet mountain air…
(subtle soundtrack
of birdsong and windchimes)
balm- soothing
deep-dripping  drops
of iridescent honey
digging in
to the darker places
awakening me once again…

to life
to love
to possibility


Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Taos in Color

when i close my eyes and think about taos
my brain becomes awash with COLOR
vivid and vibrant color,
intense color...

in the architecture
in the stores
on the streets
and especially in the ever-present ART

not to mention the skies
and the amazing high-desert LIGHT
to me…. it’s nourishment!

truly an amazing place!!!