yes, friends, i am licking my wounds this morning and that’s the word that came to mind. how quickly i seem to have forgotten my recent successes and fallen headfirst into the “poor me” trap. after starting out last weekend at the barn sale with some quick sales, this weekend proved to be hugely disappointing.
here’s the pathetic story that the “poor me” side of myself indulges in (if you don’t really want to hear this, i understand – you can exit right now and i promise i won’t be offended….): my work is not interesting to people…. it’s not unique after all….it doesn’t look like “serious art”…. i may as well be invisible the way folks pass by my table with barely a polite glance, hurrying to get to the stuff they are really interested in and chatting up a storm (not to mention taking out their wallets) with the other vendors.… there is really no point in my being here…. what a waste of time…. and to think that i spent over $60 just in gas to come up here for 3 days….i’ll never create anything that anyone actually likes…. why do i even bother??
ok, that felt kind of good to put in writing, but, as always… always… there is another side to the story. so the more rational part of my mind says: well, there weren’t really a lot of people there as these events go. and it was mostly an “antiques” venue and that’s what people were looking for. also, i am not a “local” there on the mountain, so i wasn’t engaged in the “oh, how are you doing and what have you been up to” scenarios.
i did meet a lot of very nice people and was able to sneak away when things were slow and do some super fun photo-shoots of the old stuff that is everywhere at the resort. oh, and i did sell 4 total pieces in the 3 days. the fact that it was 3 the first day (last week), 1 the next and 0 the last day is what i left with and what caused me to fall into this slump.
so just for today i am allowing myself a little bit of whining and wallowing. but i did find that i was eager to get back to my routine practices….. walking, listening to the birds, reading poetry, writing, meditating, being fully present to the moment and i’m hoping to do some art journaling today.
AND… lets’ not forget practicing gratitude…especially today for those who have served on our behalf. it’s humbling and makes my little story seem very, very frivolous indeed.
have a happy holiday and isn't this just the coolest place ever??