Word Collecting

here i am

inhaling the delicate silence and

teetering on the edge of darkness

juggling the insistent words

 of my own secret dialogue

feverish with the sound

 of my own tremulous voice

yet paralyzed...

 in the fragile echo of hope

it’s a precarious balance

this life that we live….

 about a year ago i started collecting words – any time i ran across words that spoke directly to me, words that carried more than a mediocre dose of meaning i would write them down.  

 eventually  i started combining the words into simple phrases – just for fun.  i made a whole slew of 2-5 word sequences that fit together in a provocative way.  i typed the whole list up a while back and ended up with several pages of seemingly nonsensical jargon. 

 it’s fun to play with these little phrases and combine them in new and interesting ways.  somehow this little poem came out of my play and, for me, it holds more meaning that i ever would have guessed.  you should try it sometime!

i so appreciate all of your thoughtful and insightful comments on my last post.  lately some of my posts have been stretching the edge of my comfort zone... remember, my word-of-the-year is "venture!"

thanks for being there!!!!

 (all iphone macros)

Spirituality

i haven’t spoken much about this topic directly in this space…. although its undertones and ramifications are very often present in my words and in my photos too.

 the spiritual dimension of life is so rich and real and huge and mysterious….and ethereal and powerful and….

 i have to admit that i did not fully delve into this dimension until i left the confines of religion behind.  i hesitate to use that word (“confines”) but i feel now that religion was keeping me in a box that i no longer fit into.

 i know there are those that see that very same box as a comforting support system.  i am perfectly fine with that but for me i had to step out of it.  for me the freedom of leaving the box (though very difficult to do at the time!) has been exhilarating.  freeing.  opening me up to the wholeness and beauty of life and the spirits of all other creatures regardless of their beliefs.  my heart has been opened in a true and profound way.  and this is a very good thing.

 i have more to say on this subject, but i will leave it for another day.  i will just say that the more i learn, the more i do not know and the more accepting i become of the vast mystery of life.

Evolving

it’s the first day of school today.  3 years ago on this day i cried.  i was so used to being part of the educational establishment… i felt so lost and isolated,  like my identity had been stripped away, leaving me fragile and vulnerable. 

i still get sad when i think about how it all went down (i have told this story before) and especially when i think about the children that have so little chance for the support they need, their difficulties becoming whitewashed in the maze of ever-growing class sizes.

but i’m evolving.  i had to move on.  and though my path lately has been frought with frustrations of one sort and another, i’m getting that that is all part of the process and that the past is the past and each day i need to wake up and be open to what the day presents me, all the while moving forward, be it sometimes only an inch at a time.  deep breath.....

Heat

the heat envelopes me

it squeezes my head

like a balloon

about to burst

it’s a stagnant

 all-encompassing

physical presence...

i can’t think straight

because the thoughts

have been hijacked

and are not allowed

to focus on anything....

except....

how to get relief

 as i have mentioned before, i am not good in the heat!  we are so  spoiled here with our normally-temperate climate that a 12-day heat wave like this pretty much throws everything out of kilter.

 i find it very limiting and am very glad that the end is finally in sight….

the pics don’t really fit but i have been working on these and love them so much…. and they take me right back to those days spent in the coooool oregon dunes…..

hope you enjoy your virtual visit!!