Tuesday, September 29, 2015

One Thing I Have Learned

Receiving a cancer diagnosis is not something anyone wishes for.....  In our case, we both have active, healthy and relatively low-stress life-styles, so Stu’s diagnosis with an aggressive form of prostate cancer in June certainly came as a bit of a shock.  It has a way of changing pretty much everything overnight.  All other plans are on hold while you educate yourself and figure out what is the best approach.  This step is absolutely vital as the doctors will only tell you so much and tend to ignore much of the information that is out there.

 I strongly believe in looking at all of life’s circumstances for the learning to be gleaned.  Although we learned a ton about nutrition, toxins, life-style and cancer in general and how it operates, there is one over-riding idea that I want to share here.  Back when we were first dealing with the biopsy, I struggled with whether this was something I should post publicly.  Isn’t it a private matter?  Shouldn’t I just post positive stuff?  Do people even want to know and do they really care?? 

 Well, as you probably know, I stepped out of my comfort zone and put it out there on Facebook and Instagram.  I think some guys would not be happy about these kinds of revelations coming from their wives, but fortunately, even though Stu does not do social media himself, he is fine with my sharing and welcomes the comments.  Yay for that.  Because from this perspective now, it was the best decision ever.

In addition to receiving amazing support literally from all over the world, most of what we have learned and what has influenced our decisions, including choice of a surgeon, have been through friends and friends of friends who would not have known had we not shared.  Encouraging stories, suggestions, tips, recipes, on and on….. it has all been there for us!  Old friendships have been renewed and new ones established.

And sometimes the most unlikely people turn out to be the most supportive.  If you don’t share, you won’t know!  So although I did not share details and don’t recommend that, if you have something you are dealing with, don’t be afraid to make it known.  There is an amazing, supportive community out there!

Post-surgery, the doctor now believes that Stu is cancer free and, though he will always have to be monitored, we are determined to keep it that way. Deeply grateful for all who offered support in so many different ways, both large and small.


  1. I for one, am certainly very happy you went public. Perhaps I have not been public enough about my leukemia and I feel very alone at times. So happy things have gone well in your favour -- life send us curves and all we can do is our best to deal with them. I'm sure in many ways, you have both been through hell and back, however, you have landed on your feet and will begin to enjoy your lives again. I wish you both health .. the biggest gift of all. And Patty, thanks so much for dropping over to my blog and leaving such a heart felt comment. I do feel I know you, and you are a very beautiful old soul. Sometime when we both have our lives a little more settled, I would like to talk with you about Instagram ... not a clue. Didn't know you were on FB ... I'll send you a friend request. In the meantime, be well, stay healthy and happy and keep in touch. I won't be far from you once I move back to Canada, so you never know. :o) hugs and much love to a grand lady, Donna

  2. You both have been such great teachers of living through a major life crisis with bravery and a positive attitude. We are honored that you made us a part of your journey, Patty and Stu

  3. You are an inspiration, a guiding light. Thank you for sharing this profoundly intimate experience.

  4. Patty,
    Congratulations on being cancer free. I am so happy for your husband and you. Sending both of you a happiness hug. I have kept you in my prayers ..love you G

  5. Hi Patty, it has been a long time since I visited your blog. So happy to read hubby is well and you can go forward doing the things together that you love. I took a different approach being a private person and did not blog that I had cancer, my support team was family and close friends. I took a leave from my groups because I didn't feel I could cope with emails and posts without a response and I had no energy to do anything. I go for a scan next week to make sure no cancer cells went astray as I was cancer free in May. I admire you for your decision to share with your internet friends. Who knows what works best for each person. It definitely is a personal decision. God bless.

  6. Oh Patty, I'm so glad that Stu is free from cancer and that you have shared these hard months with us.


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