Word of the Year Recap

so here it is december and i have yet to write about my word of the year for 2015… i had good intentions but with moving and all, it just never got done.  so…. it will end up being a re-cap instead of thoughts about my intentions.

I chose “connect” because it felt necessary.   moving to a new town, new state, new environment, new climate, etc. it felt vitally important to connect with all of that as soon as possible. as well as the land itself, the creatures, our old house and its history. and, always, i’m seeking a deeper connection with what’s inside and with what’s unseen.

so from this vantage point… i’m really happy that i chose to make that a focus.  it meant almost every day i thought about it and ways to keep it going.  i also document regularly ways that i’ve put it into practice so at the end of the year i can see how it made a difference in my life.

 i’ve been connecting deeply with this place that now feels like home.  its wildness, lush green color, trees, wildlife, changing skies and proximity to both water and snow-packed peaks have captivated me.  the changing seasons (though truth be told i was a little frightened of them) have drawn me in as well. 

  

perhaps more surprising is the community we have stepped into that has welcomed and embraced us.  this was the scariest part, moving without a single real contact.  we have formed friendships that do not feel as if they are only a few months old.  and i am in awe of the growing “tribe” of creative women that seems to be emerging. 

 moving on, i am starting to be open to what may be next.  i love the word-of-the-year practice and have learned to trust that the right word will come to me even though at this time i still have no idea what it will be.  just toying with it a little and we’ll see where it goes.  as always, the old words do not disappear, but are now integrated into my life...

A Year of Changes

it’s my birthday week so time to reflect.   it’s been a year of changes…. that’s for sure!  last year at this time we were getting ready for the trip north to “check out” this area and see if it might be feasible to consider living here.  now here we are, all the moving chaos behind us, settled, heavily involved in home repairs, adjusting to the climate and busy with new friends, creative endeavors  and activities.

 

do i miss things about socal? absolutely.  would i do it all over again?  also absolutely.  we loved living there all those years, and it was seriously hard to leave long-established friendships, but we both felt it was time for a change.  a change to quieter, cooler, cleaner, smaller, greener and wilder.  and that is exactly what we got.

 i’m still the same person.  still have the same issues and insecurities.  and there are new problems to deal with for sure.  life is expensive here.  but the newness has been pretty exhilarating. we are still in that phase in which we sometimes can’t believe that we really did it.  that we really LIVE here and don’t have to turn around and spend 2 and a half days to go home. 

so…. so far, so good!  the long, cold, dark winter awaits.  yes, i’m a little bit freaked out by that…but also excited for the challenge of making the most of it in new and creative ways.  after all, one thing aging teaches us is that it’s what’s inside that counts and attitude is pretty much everything.  so bring it on!  and here’s to another year of blessings and challenges, beauty and wisdom, growth and learning.  cheers!

One Thing I Have Learned

Receiving a cancer diagnosis is not something anyone wishes for.....  In our case, we both have active, healthy and relatively low-stress life-styles, so Stu’s diagnosis with an aggressive form of prostate cancer in June certainly came as a bit of a shock.  It has a way of changing pretty much everything overnight.  All other plans are on hold while you educate yourself and figure out what is the best approach.  This step is absolutely vital as the doctors will only tell you so much and tend to ignore much of the information that is out there.

 I strongly believe in looking at all of life’s circumstances for the learning to be gleaned.  Although we learned a ton about nutrition, toxins, life-style and cancer in general and how it operates, there is one over-riding idea that I want to share here.  Back when we were first dealing with the biopsy, I struggled with whether this was something I should post publicly.  Isn’t it a private matter?  Shouldn’t I just post positive stuff?  Do people even want to know and do they really care?? 

 Well, as you probably know, I stepped out of my comfort zone and put it out there on Facebook and Instagram.  I think some guys would not be happy about these kinds of revelations coming from their wives, but fortunately, even though Stu does not do social media himself, he is fine with my sharing and welcomes the comments.  Yay for that.  Because from this perspective now, it was the best decision ever.

In addition to receiving amazing support literally from all over the world, most of what we have learned and what has influenced our decisions, including choice of a surgeon, have been through friends and friends of friends who would not have known had we not shared.  Encouraging stories, suggestions, tips, recipes, on and on….. it has all been there for us!  Old friendships have been renewed and new ones established.

And sometimes the most unlikely people turn out to be the most supportive.  If you don’t share, you won’t know!  So although I did not share details and don’t recommend that, if you have something you are dealing with, don’t be afraid to make it known.  There is an amazing, supportive community out there!

Post-surgery, the doctor now believes that Stu is cancer free and, though he will always have to be monitored, we are determined to keep it that way. Deeply grateful for all who offered support in so many different ways, both large and small.

Home

there was a longing in my soul

a cry for the darker places

a seed deeply buried

shyly toying with the light

whispering secrets

my ears could not hear

now the creatures of the sea

and the birds of the air

have merged their humble energies

in welcoming me

cool primordial mists

hauntingly bestow their blessings

and the balm of the bay

pervades every waking moment.

indeed i am home