i have to admit - that’s kind of how i have approached this birthday. not wanting it to happen. not wanting to accept the fact that i have lived every one of those years and they have just added up into this big steep pile of birthdays.
part of me is a little in shock. how did this happen? suddenly this long winding string of life has a visible end to it. and say what you will about “not getting older, getting better” or “it’s just a number”, the cold, hard fact is that getting older does kind of suck.
there’s the physical decline stuff which is pretty obvious, but also the jolting realization that my time here is getting shorter and shorter. i can totally understand how, to the unprepared, this realization can be daunting and can lead the way into fear and negativity. so how then to be prepared??
i suppose by looking at the big picture and not getting all emotional about it. we come, we do, we learn, we make choices and we go. at this point in my life, i’m accepting of what i have done and learned and the choices i have made. and though i’m still doing all of these things, when it’s over, it’s over and i hope to let go gracefully. i know it can be done.
(not that i expect to deal with this any time soon…. i am as healthy as i have ever been and there is a lot of longevity in my family, but birthdays have a way of prompting me to think along these lines and get a little philosophical… and i do think it’s a good direction
once in a while…)
of course realizing that the present moment is all we have anyway is the most powerful idea. as i get better at embracing this concept and living it, i know that i will be just fine. bring on the birthdays and let the celebration begin!!
i realize these pics don’t necessarily fit the theme, but i’m so far behind with my pics and wanted to share this lovely time recently kayaking on lake tahoe with my sis-in-law. yep, i can still try new things and i hope to continue that trend!!