Friday, February 19, 2010

Peak Experience and Demon Doses

i believe that seeing the valley of fire at any time would be a moving experience, but getting to see it through and after the rain, as the clouds engaged in a true theatrical performance, from which blue skies eventually emerged - well, for me, i just kept thinking that there are no words for this - it's one of those experiences that will be etched on my soul and will stay with me for all time.
already, when i can't sleep, i sometimes see these same images life-size and all around me

i'm glad i have this this true peak experience to look back on and sort of counter-balance the dose of the demons that i seem to be struggling with today.  there are 2 completely different spins that i can use to look at my life as it is right now.  i'm really getting so much better at doing the postive one. since this year has started i feel that i'm successful with this probably 90% of the time.  but every once in a while that 10% rears its ugly head and starts asking all kinds of annoying questions - like why my projects aren't resulting in something more PRODUCTIVE, why i still don't have a nice defined plan for the future - a plan that will not only be financially rewarding, but will be doing something IMPORTANT.  it doesn't seem like such a bad thing to think in those terms, but it just ends up frustrating me and i try to go back to my 2010 mantra of "justbe"......(deep breath)......i have to remind myself that when my job went away, i decided i would give myself one year to figure out what's next.  i'm still in that year.  one day at a time..... well, thanks for listening - i know just putting this in writing will help to clarify things and give me a better perspective as it always does!!
P.S.  I will be posting more images on flickr


  1. beautiful beautiful breath-taking images as usual sweet Patty!!

    and sweet scarf my hubby would say and does say to me often..."GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK!!!!"

    you are still in THAT year!!!! all will be just will!!!

    although...i do know exactly what you are saying and i feel the same way in the sense of the little projects i do and all the ideas zooming around in my head!!! gets kinda crazy in there sometimes!!

    stay the course.....miss you!!!
    sending lots and lots of love!

  2. Those incredible red rocks again! Spectacular photos Patti! Agree with your Sister ... give yourself a break ... nothing on this earth is 'written in stone' ... it may take more than a year ... it may not be about finances ... it may not be about a long term plan (which we love to do because it makes us feel secure ... what a joke!) .. it may be about your passion, your happiness, your peace. None of us really know what its about -- follow your heart, follow your gut... 'allow'. If it feels right, do it. WE never know what's in store. You are doing absolutely GREAT!!! baby steps, my dear ... baby steps.

  3. Give yourself a hug. You have time. And from your photos, it does look like you are following your heart in the meantime - whatever it leads to. Lots of love to you, my dear!


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