MAY (revisited)

 

in realizing it is, yes, the very last day of MAY,  i was reminded that last year on this day i wrote a little poem and shared it with you.  i thought it might be fun to re-share since so many of you are new, and….. well, it’s a good reminder and i seem to need a lot of those.  so here it is, followed by a few more highlights from the taos trip, which occurred during the month of MAY.

MAY

 i squeeze the handle of the sifter one more time

and the flour that was the month of may

drifts down into the bowl of my life

leaving its faint cloud of dust

lingering in the air.

as i wrap the memorial day flag

and stash it in its hiding place

until its next appointed showing

a thought tiptoes across my mind

a thought that asks

if i lived as fully as i could have

or if i settled for grape juice

when i could have had wine

the moment beckons me

to plunge beneath its depths

to move beyond a mere skimming of the surface

to sink….deeper…

into a reality where i have been a guest

but never a citizen

i release all that i know

simply let go

and for a brief instant

i feel the connection

Taos plaza

One of the neighboring villages

Taos Pueblo, still home to over 1200 Native Americans

Spring aspens

Looking down at my feet and the Rio Grande below

Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Angel Fire

Toast to good memories

Full moon rising

Sign to the meditation hut outside of the house we stayed in

 Thanks again for all of your kind words regarding my last post.  As I mentioned, I am working on a follow-up.  And thanks for visiting!!!

Creative Direction (and other demons)

i have lots more taos stuff,  but in the meantime….. i 've  had some struggles lately and felt the need to share.  partly because writing helps to clarify things in my own little brain and partly because there is always a chance someone else will be able to relate to what i’m saying and we can swap viewpoints and strategies.  love that about blogging!

it seems most of my life i have dealt with various insecurities and the demons have been knocking on my door lately for a variety of reasons (wouldn't think you would reach an age when this no longer happens???)    the you’re not good enough demons.  the less than demons.  the what’s wrong with you anyway demons.  the who do you think you are demons.  the maybe you should just forget that idea demons.  and lately one of the loudest knockers:  the where’s it all going demons.

you see it’s been almost 2 years now since i retired from my teaching job.  don’t get me wrong.  i LOVE my life and am incredibly grateful for it every.  single.  day.   *seriously*.    it’s just that when i left my job i had high hopes of doing “something important”.  at the time, i was still printing and framing photos and selling them at artshows and galleries.  and presenting my multi-media shows in assisted living facilities.

 i’ve since decided that printing, framing and selling are really not my thing (except for the little stuff like cards, magnets and bookmarks). i loved doing the multi-media shows, but the marketing was completely daunting and eventually did me in.  

so those things have mostly fallen by the wayside in favor of new creative pursuits.  i love blogging.  and i totally love the new art forms i am dabbling in, working in my new studio and doing the retreats.  (i am a happy girl in spite of those demons!!)  

but when i look at the future, it’s hard to grasp it all going in a direction that is going to “make a difference”.  based on past experience, my future view feels somewhat limited.  and that can become scary if i let it.  i know, i know, it’s all about the journey…. and i do believe i am getting better at stopping those negative spirals.... but i can’t seem to reign my thoughts in and keep them from going in that direction from time to time…..sigh...

i know i’m presenting a mixed picture here, but that’s my life.  probably more days than not i feel excited and confident about what i am doing.  my “daily practices” are wonderful and i am adding more all the time! but i wouldn’t be completely honest without acknowledging these little midnight visitors and i’m guessing maybe some of you have been visited by them too.  or maybe not.  would love to hear your thoughts!

Sweet Mountain Air

ahhh…..

the sweet mountain air…

(subtle soundtrack

of birdsong and windchimes)

lung-filling

soul-seeping

balm- soothing

deep-dripping  drops

of iridescent honey

tip-toeing

mood-melting

digging in

to the darker places

awakening me once again…

to life

to love

to possibility

ahhh....

Taos in Color

when i close my eyes and think about taos

my brain becomes awash with COLOR

vivid and vibrant color,

intense color...

in the architecture

in the stores

on the streets

and especially in the ever-present ART

not to mention the skies

and the amazing high-desert LIGHT

to me…. it’s nourishment!

 

truly an amazing place!!!