have you ever been struggling with an issue, picked up a book and laid your eyes upon the exact words that you needed to hear?? i don’t know about you, but this has happened to me many times!
i had been dealing with that pesky old comparison demon. do you know the one?? the one that gets in your face when others are successful and, instead of allowing you to be happy for their success, catapults you into comparison mode.
whispers messages like, “everyone else is selling their work (or getting published, or getting recognition, or having sold-out workshops….) what’s wrong with you?” or “look at that person’s work, or blog, or writing, or ideas, or clothes….. blah, blah, blah”.
i mean sometimes i can be really happy for the success of others – no problem at all. but other times…. i think it’s when others are finding seemingly effortless (yes, i know that’s not true!) success with the exact things that i have tried and tried and failed at that it gets painful for me.
and i don’t want to be that way – i want to be able to be happy for any success my friends and colleagues are able to enjoy. i want to move in that direction, but i’m not quite there yet....
so…. i was just struggling with this very thing and 2 things happened:
1) i heard oprah on the radio talking about her experience with the color purple. how she thought she had not gotten the part she so wanted and was trying to move in the direction of being happy for the actress who had. the moment she LET GO of her desires and surrendered completely, she found out she actually HAD the part. very interesting
2) i opened “a path with heart” (a book by jack kornfield that i am very slowly reading) and these were the exact next words: the “near enemy” of sympathetic joy (the joy in the happiness of others) is comparison, which looks to see if we have more of, the same as, or less than another. instead of rejoicing with them, a subtle voice asks, “is mine as good as hers? when will it be my turn?" – again creating separation
the perfect words for me to ponder…. and hopefully prompt me to continue to move in the right direction...