well, in reality it was only 6, but it seemed like 40. “our lives were changed in an instant”. it’s the start of many stories. in this case, it was more over the course of a few hours. as i was slogging through the waters of the nightmare that was wednesday, both literally and figuratively, it occurred to me that time might now become defined, at least for a while, in terms of btf (before the flood) and atf. i kept thinking how just a few short hours ago, my life was completely normal and now this.
|This is where is all started|
wetness everywhere and no way to dry it. sounds of ripping and tearing and cutting reminiscent of some kind of obscene surgery on what i thought was the sacred confines of my home. personal belongings grabbed and thrown in piles with no regard to organization or retrieval. workmen laughing and joking as they tear apart the pieces of my life.
servings of bad news doled out in doses that sometimes mount too quickly for effective emotional processing. feeling vulnerable and desperate and ignorant at the hand of the supposed “experts”. finding out that, no, there is no flood insurance in your policy. realizing that there is no quick fix and the effects of this event will be ‘in my face” for quite some time to come. and, probably worst of all, comprehending that the whole frigging mess was preventable if we had been vigilant and proactive.
|Our constant companions for 5 days|
it felt good writing that out! i could go on, but i’m going to stop because i want you to know that at the same time all of this negativity was occupying space in my brain, there was also a whole bunch of “grateful stuff” competing for attention. back and forth it goes. i want to shift gears now and jump on that bandwagon.
the good stuff: this was a slow-moving seepage. we watched it grow and were able to move stuff out of its way in time. the water came in from the back and only made it about halfway through the house. thank goodness it was the back. the living room, family room and most of the kitchen were not affected at all (including the christmas tree!)
|Living room 2 days before Christmas|
we can still occupy the house. while even simple tasks have become amazingly complicated and inconvenient and it’s difficult to find things and those dang machines are really LOUD, we are able to stay here and carry on with our lives. everything is repairable. eventually things will be back to normal. we do have a “rainy day” fund. just didn’t think it would be put to such a literal use. lots of folks in this situation do not. i’m incredibly grateful to have a supportive partner and great friends. i can’t imagine dealing with this alone.
so…. not exactly the christmas i had in mind, but i’m learning that expectations are rarely a good thing. we will deal with the issues one little step at a time and i look forward to the day when i can say, as in the stories kolleen is highlighting on her blog…. i’m better for it.