Thursday, May 13, 2010


that's where i'm at, friends. i have several projects going on my art table, dozens of projects going inside my computer - everything from tutorials to learn new stuff, photo organizing and enhancing, new powerpoints in mid-stream, videos, and let's not forget keeping up with my own and everyone else blogs, not to mention good ole facebook - and framing projects scattered across my studio (otherwise known as a living room). since i'm not working (in the normal sense of going to a job and bringing home money) i should have tons of time to get this all done and more, right??

 i suppose it's a focus issue. before the retreat, i was totally focused on that. it was like a full-time job. i knew exactly what to do and happily X'd things off my lists as they got done. satisfying! when i have an art show or deadline coming up, i get focused on that until it's done. i do have a little book in which i try to put down my priorities for the day, but it's just not working out right now.

i've also noticed a subtle recurrence of those old bad buddies, the negative thoughts about myself. i'm boring. i'm dull. i'm not clever or creative like everyone else out there. who would want to be my friend anyway? if they really got to know me, they would leave because i'm so uninteresting. i know. pathetic. but writing that out made me feel a teensy bit better.

so i just sat down and made up some doable goals for myself. among them:

  • plan another retreat in the fall
  • make small copies of my photo-weaves and sell them at the strawberry festival
  • make cards and prints of my butterflies and sell them at the strawberry festival
  • make some new short powerpoints that i can potentially use with my hospice patients

 suddenly i feel a lot better. interesting. can you relate to any of this??

not sure why i choose these photos - i guess they seem kind of scattered too!

p.s. as i was typing this up, a friend just called and asked me if i want to go to china with her.  wow. something new to throw into the mix!





  1. omg. i just had lunch with tricia and told her the same thing. for some reason today i feel so scattered. i left the house to meet her and realized that I did not put my wedding rings on and forgot to change from my flip flops to sandals. i think for me its just that i have so much swirling in my head that sometimes gets overwhelming. baby steps. do what i can for today and tomorrow is a new day.
    p.s. you are not boring or dull at all. believe it sister!

  2. i feel like this a lot. i mean A LOT. i was just talking to judy today about trying to get some things done for myself. i am really wanting to simplify my life and find out what is most important to me. i even made a list like yours. :)
    oh and i am happy to be your friend. :)

  3. me happy to be your friend!!!!

    and i can relate 100%!!!! i have so much scattering going on it isn't even funny!!!!! i mean, who has like 7-8 different notebooks they write stuff down in....and without rhyme or reason!!! yup....that would be ME! and, you know what, doing that makes me even more scattered!!!!!

    you are not alone my friend!!! and you are certainly no where near dull or boring!!!

    love to you

  4. no one who takes photos like you could possibly be dull! oh, my...but i know exactly where you're coming from...

    as for scattered, that's how my life is daily. maybe mine comes from having my store & trying to work on a project & being "interrupted" a dozen or more times a day...i don't know, but it makes it hard to get anything done. and when i get home, i'm a puddle of goo from all the scattered-ness...

    chin up :) you're doing great!

  5. I've been there, Patty! This last move from Canada was the most scattered I have ever been. NOT a nice feeling. At the moment, with all that is going on here, I am very very focused. Not even trying. ODD, isn't it!

  6. Thanks so much for you sweet and supportive comments! Thankfully, I don't go around feeling this way about myself all the time, but in my darker moments... well, there you have it - part of my shadow side, I guess!

  7. Let's embrace the scatter! Cause it sure seems like it's the norm. Although all your projects probably seem chaotic, at least it's organized chaos. I've started to learn to like working on something for a bit, then moving to the next, then moving to the next. It gives my mind a break. And when all the ideas are swirling, whirling, about to blow in my head....I get them out. I make lists, lists, lists! And when it seem way to hard to do the simplist of tasks....I try to break them down into what Sark calls Micromovements...makes me feel like I'm accomplishing more when I can see all those lines through the baby steps as I cross them off. So yes, yes I can relate. I am definitely a scatter brain. And when you add procrastination to that mix - watch out! :)

  8. I am so honored to be your friend. You are interesting, kind, creative, filled with light, laughter, and love. The question should be who wouldn't want to be your friend ? ;)

    I can relate with all that you write though. Being scattered. Unable to get one thing done. Jumping from one thing to the next. It is not so easy at times for me to focus as well. I get all these ideas but do not follow through with them.

    I love that you made a list of small acheivable goals. What a great way to step into the right direction. And that is super exciting.

    I adore you Patty!

  9. Sweet Patty..stunning photography! And yes..I could definitely relate to your goal-list. Mine isn't as long as it once was. I'm so anxious to see how your PP Presentations work at Hospice. I recently began reading to my momma (and sharing photos) and it brightens her day more than I ever imagined. great is that with regards to the China invitation?

    Blessings, Love & Summer Sunshine, Terri


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